Controlling alcohol intensity is done by offsetting strong alcohol proof with something of lighter proof. Normally a 1 part strong to 2 parts weak ratio is a good guideline for controlling intensity in your drinks.
Intensity is not just about proof. While it’s simple math to offset a 151 proof alcohol with a 40 proof sometimes drinks of equal strength will exhibit radically different intensities. Take whiskey and rum for example. Rum of 70 proof will often feel less harsh and intense than an equal proof whiskey; this is normally because of the ingredients used in its production. Sugar, the basis for rum, often offsets the intensity of the alcohol on your tongue so that it can feel like a less strong drink even though it is not.
Adding non-alcoholic ingredients will of course lower the alcohol by volume of the final drink. Keep this in mind as you build your beverage. So called tall drinks often use the same level of alcohol as a Highball but use a larger glass and more mixers to lower the alcohol content. If you do not wish the alcoholic punch of your drink to be diminished by your other flavorings and mixers you’ll need to add more alcohol. This is one of the reasons why, when describing recipes, I utilize the nomenclature: part. Instead of calling for a specific volume in ounces which makes scaling drinks difficult, I utilize the term part to allow you to visualize the volume of ingredients in relation to each other regardless of that volume.
Knowing the taste of each alcohol and its relative intensity to the others in your bar is a key component when combining those liquids.
Until next time, may all your drinks be tasty. Cheers.